Butterfly Starfish

I'm back!

2009-05-14T07:07:00.003-04:00

Wow...I can't believe it's been eight months since I last wrote an entry. I decided to make a concerted effort to return to this forum with some semblance of regularity. I mean, I don't twitter or tweet, I don't text, I don't spend endless hours on MSN talking to a constant stream of friends like my teenagers do. So I should have some free time to blog. My life isn't that jam-packed. Besides, I feel better when I write, even if some entries are seemingly random and unimportant. For me, it is therapeutic and I have missed it. So, welcome back to me!

Summer...still blooming!

2008-08-28T19:14:00.002-04:00

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile. Summer is such a busy time! I just wanted to stop and take a moment to admire some more of the beauty that this season brings! Awesome!

Origins

2008-08-05T18:54:00.008-04:00

How large was the stone,

the boulder, the massive rock

that gave birth

to these smooth spheres.

Once jagged, uneven,

sent tumbling into heaving waters

to roll and smash

and clash with one another,

until they were swept

up on some beautiful shore.

Scooped into buckets by the armful

and collected.

Ended up here in this suburban oasis.

I hold one - it is warm from the midday sun.

Silent,

they are ancient and mysterious,

yet they speak to me

and tell the story of their origin.

A little sunshine for a rainy day

2008-07-25T17:33:00.001-04:00

Summer Beauties

2008-07-15T20:36:00.000-04:00

Aloha!

2008-07-13T18:54:00.002-04:00

So, no I didn't go to Hawaii recently. It is a dream of mine to see the islands at some point, to relax on white sand and gaze at the bluest water. Sigh. That's not the point of my blog today, though.

My daughter celebrated her birthday today. It was a tropical-themed party. We had one five years ago and decided it was time to have another. We busily put up the decorations, drove around getting supplies, ordered food, etc. It's been a chaotic few days, needless to say.

While we were decorating last night, she said, "do you know what I remember most about the last party?"

"I have no idea", I replied.

"It was the cake, it was so amazing", she said with so much earnest that I was totally shocked.

I expected her to say the presents, or the swimming or...I don't know, something else. But the cake? I made that crazy confection out of two cakes to look like an island, with gummy bear residents - shaded from the sun by little drink umbrellas, Goldfish crackers for...um...fish, Glossette raisins for rocks and coconut coated in green food colouring for the grass. I even painted the tin foil around the base blue to look like water.

I always enjoy this kind of creativity. It is so much fun to find ways to make things unique and special, and it means so much when you make it yourself. You'd think I would have more time, not less, as the children get older. Sadly, I had no desire to make a theme cake this year...but I'm glad my children cherish the memories when I do.

A sign from Mom

2008-07-09T22:48:00.002-04:00

Today is my Mom's birthday. She would've been 66 if she was still alive. It is always an emotionally precarious day for me. Gone amost 8 years now and I miss her every day. She was not Harriet Nelson by any means, and most days were like salt and vinegar - not milk and cookies...if you know what I mean. She distrusted the world and overprotected her kids. Makes for some serious issues in adulthood, but I think I have my head on pretty straight...ask around, I think I turned out okay.

Anyway, I saw another butterfly today. It was definitely a sign from Mom. She's around, and every now and then she shows herself in small ways. Don't ask me why I believe it, I just do. Today her birthday butterfly flew all around me and then fluttered away. I willed it to come back and it did. It flew straight toward me, then veered right to rest on my neighbour's shrub. Well, I ran for my camera to grab a few pics. This is the best one from as close as I dared to get. I was reviewing said photos under the shade of my old maple, when I turned to look at the butterfly...it was gone.

Love you Mom...Happy Birthday wherever you are and thanks for the sign!

(Not another) manic Monday...

2008-07-07T18:50:00.003-04:00

Holidays. Love 'em. No alarms, no routine, no stress. Get up when you want, do whatever sounds good. Don't wear a watch - who needs to know the time? Sit back, really enjoy that coffee from Tim Horton's. Tastes better somehow, doesn't it? I've been taking pictures at leisure, seeing opps that I wouldn't normally see during the work week. So I sit back and revel in the joy of time without a schedule. Gotta go...got so many more pics to take, sun to soak up and weeks to decompress!!

National Pride

2008-07-02T12:26:00.003-04:00

Yesterday we celebrated our nation's 141st birthday. While I'm not the ultimate patriot - I don't go all out decorating and plastering myself in red and white - I absolutely love our country. It is a great place to live. I do get upset, however, when someone says it is not. What are they comparing it to, and if it's better there...then why are they here? No country is perfect, but we have rights and freedoms that others around the world do not. We gripe about the high gas costs and changeable weather, but it's still better than the conditions that other people have to endure. We have the enviable position of being world leaders in peacekeeping. I say thank you Canada, you are my home and I am proud to be a Canadian!

Vitamin D

2008-07-01T15:59:00.002-04:00

What a great recharge today! Sitting in the sun for an hour with nothing to do but read a good book and soak up the rays. Ahhh...that's the life! Sunblock, water and a gentle breeze - good for the mind and soul. I pledge to make more time to do this over the summer,namely next week when I am on holidays! There really is something to Seasonal Affected Disorder, it is amazing how much the warmth of the summer sun on my skin makes me feel 100% better. Just a little tan will do me, enough to last over the coming seasons. I am grateful for today...

21st Century Reflections

2008-06-28T17:03:00.003-04:00

Sometimes we all need to be alone. This generation worries me because they are constantly connected to friends via the internet, texting, cellphones and web cams. There is no privacy anymore. Everyone can see and say anything all the time. There is no down time, or quiet time, or time to reflect and be still. It scares me. I would love nothing more than to be alone, be alone with myself and my own thoughts. To enjoy the quiet and the stillness, and commune with my own company. This tech age is not neccessarily all it's cracked up to be. It's a ripple effect that's going to grow exponentially, to the point where all reality as we know it will become cyber-reality. I'm not so sure I like the sound of that...and I hope I'm wrong.

My spiritual garden

2008-06-24T22:19:00.000-04:00

My garden is looking kinda scruffy. Needs a good weeding, pruning and turning over. A little late in the season, but better than not at all. My garden could be even more beautiful with time and patience. It seems to be a 24/7 job...but I love my garden. So I will tend to it, and be thankful for the ability to do so. I also think good friends are like fertilizer...they help you blossom and grow stronger!

The Big Blue (1995)

2008-06-22T17:42:00.000-04:00

Blue,
the morning reborn
brings promises,
hope springs anew.
I see through the clouds
to what lies beyond
the blue yonder.
Indigo,
my thoughts, imbued,
wander.
In Heaven's perfect hue,
the mysteries hide.
Truth and illusion
bathed in azure,
in swirling stillness-
holding no commune,
whispering no clues.
The big blue marble
turning ever-
I peruse cerulean latitudes
and then kneel at Its pew.
Genuflecting,
awesome respect humbles me.
My tears, welling,
sparkled sapphirine like dew-
a gentle breeze blew
and sweetly dried them.
I am a child again too.
This sense of wonder renews,
in such a beautiful
breathtaking view:
the horizon,
cobalt canopy,
the Universe...
the Big Blue.

A New BF

2008-06-19T18:15:00.001-04:00

I have a new best friend...

His name is Henry. He is really into photography. He can get me any kind of equipment I want. He can repair my camera. He can give me lots of advice and teach me how to be a better photographer.

Sigh...

I love Henry. I think I'll be spending alot more time with him in the near future!

Chicken on the Road

2008-06-18T11:40:00.000-04:00

I gotta admit it...I really am not a confident driver. I have to go on what would be a long drive to visit a dear friend, and it's making me sweat. I have the map & I know the address. I can visualize the route, and yet I am starting to freak out. The directions make it look really simple, but...

Gulp.

I am going to do it. No matter what happens and despite the very real possibility that I will get lost. The trip will be worth it, of this I have no doubt. So wish me luck and stay outta my way on the 407!!!

2008-06-18T09:04:00.000-04:00

XY

You are incomplete
yet so perfect,
more beautiful in your pain,
in your creation,
than I ever was.
I hide behind these words-
you reveal your scars.
Crimson,
clarity drips from your pen
like fluid prose.
You are illuminated
and I weep,
wishing I was you...
the XY.

My lucky day

2008-06-17T18:36:00.000-04:00

I saw a butterfly land on a nearby shrub. It stayed awhile...long enough for me to take a quick pic before it fluttered away.

I think it's a sign...

Musings

2008-06-17T07:19:00.000-04:00

Expressing myself has always been difficult...no, not difficult...almost impossible. I can explain, I can teach, I can listen really well - but express? I shut down most of the time. I'm pretty sure it stems from childhood, my no-nonsense, always right Mom who never let me finish a sentence. Now I feel all of these ideas and thoughts pressurizing and trying to come out. If only I felt there was someone out there who would be willing to listen, let me let it out, maybe I could finally get a grip on it.

Express myself, project myself, assert myself. At my age, it's almost laughable - but there is is.

Wow, I feel better.

Bubbles, bubbles in the air...

2008-06-16T14:14:00.000-04:00

The quiet of my morning break was interrupted by the delightful giggles of a little girl named Kayla. She was blowing bubbles and chasing them around the drive next to the mall. I smiled to myself, thinking how nice it would be to join her. I remembered my own children, blowing bubbles even in the frosty winter air and spilling the soap in the snow. It was a favourite pastime in any season. It did my heart good today!

Sometimes we just need to recall the simple joys of childhood...